


Without Him

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Pre-TFA Tidbits [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, based on the last jedi leaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 01:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11369631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Kylo knows his accomplishments mean nothing without someone to share them with.





	Without Him

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: The Mind's Eye
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

 It's another gift from the Supreme Leader, just as the mask is. And Kylo is grateful. The TIE fighter is just another symbol of how far he's come in two years. He is now twenty-five years old, and he has accomplished much in the name of the First Order. He's prayed that he can be as strong as Darth Vader, as determined, as steely and brave and loyal.

(Deep in his heart, he fears he will never so much as come close, but he doesn't say it out loud)

Kylo walks around the TIE fighter, taking in the sleek wings, the shining metal, the vivid colors. It's beautiful. Magnificent, actually. But there's something missing, he can't help but think. There's someone who should be there with him. Someone who he should have --

 _No_. He can't think about that. He simply can't. And yet he thinks back to when two boys, one nineteen, one twenty-two, flew in an X-wing for the former's birthday. Saw the stars. He remembers those same boys, little this time, playing X-wing Pilots, making X-wing noises and holding out their arms to imitate wings. He can remember all of it, and he shouldn't, he can't --

But Poe should be with him. He can picture Poe embracing him tightly, congratulating him on getting his own ship -- his own ship. The both of them in a space battle side by side. Flying together. Poe, exploring the outside and the inside with him, marveling at the TIE fighter's beauty.

" _She's perfect_." Poe would say, and Kylo would be hard-pressed to disagree.

Kylo steps away from the TIE, forcing his musings on what could be to stop. All that could be. He never should have let Poe go. He never should have left him behind. But then again, how would he have explained half his atrocities to Poe? How would he have explained what he had done?

He's gone too far. He knows it, even though he keeps it carefully buried where no one -- not even him -- can see. There are no fairy tale endings for Dark Siders, not without manipulation and death involved at least. The Supreme Leader told him as much. There are no fairy tale endings for Dark Siders, and Kylo must quietly mourn his husband, and try and suppress it, as he always does.

Kylo steps into the TIE fighter and starts the engines. There is a mission he has yet to complete. He had best get to it.

 

 

 


End file.
